Ten Years of Executive Coaching: What We've Learned (and What Actually works)

By Arlene Pace Green, Ph.D., A.C.C., CEO & Founder

Ten years ago, I started this business with a belief that combining the best in organizational science, coaching excellence, and practical experience could change the trajectory of a leader — and through leaders, the people and organizations they serve. What I did not fully anticipate was how much those conversations would change me and our team as well.

Over the past decade, we have had the privilege of coaching executives across industries, career stages, and challenges. We have sat across from newly promoted VPs who were excited for the opportunity while also being terrified of failing, coached seasoned CEOs who had forgotten why they started, worked with leaders on the edge of burnout, and partnered with leaders stepping boldly into their next chapter.

In honor of our 10th anniversary, I wanted to share the ten lessons that have shown up again and again — across clients, industries, and years. These are hard-won insights that we have watched real leaders learn, practice, and apply; and we’ve applied them ourselves as well.

1.  Self-awareness is an accelerator if you act on it.

Research and our coaching experience confirm that self-awareness is a predictor of leader effectiveness. But the reality is that awareness alone is not enough. As leaders progress upwards in an organization, the amount of feedback they receive lessens because most people are hesitant to give feedback to those above. So what separates the leaders who grow from the those who plateau is their ability to create a feedback rich environment and their ability to translate this feedback into a small number of clear, intentional behavior changes that they follow through on consistently.

Try this: Identify one piece of feedback you have received more than once. Define one specific behavior you will do differently over the next two weeks — and revisit it at the end of each day.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Ensure assessments and feedback processes don't end with insight. Build in clear expectations for what happens next — ownership, action planning, and follow-through.

2.  Leadership isn’t about you.

This is one of the common realizations our clients have. The technical expertise, the individual brilliance, the ability to outwork everyone in the room: these things earn you a seat at the leadership table. But once you are there, the game changes entirely. As leaders take on broader roles, success becomes less about personal execution and more about how they enable the team around them. The shift is subtle but significant — and many leaders have to consciously unlearn deeply ingrained habits to make it.

Try this: In your next team interaction, focus less on your input and more on how others are contributing. Notice who is speaking, who isn't, and where you may be stepping in too quickly.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Reinforce leadership expectations that focus on team impact — not just individual performance. Align coaching goals and success measures accordingly.

3.  Your biggest liability and greatest strength may be the same.

We rarely see leaders struggle because they lack capability. More often, it is a matter of how their strengths are being applied in a new context. The same drive that makes someone exceptional as an individual contributor can create friction when it crowds out the people they lead. The same confidence that inspires others in calm moments can land as dismissiveness under pressure. Strength becomes a liability not because it disappears — but because it gets overused.

Try this: Choose one strength you rely on heavily. This week, experiment with dialing it back slightly in one or two situations and observe what changes.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Go beyond "strengths-based" development. Ensure leaders understand how their strengths may show up under pressure or at scale — and where adjustment may be needed.

4.  Say it clearly and then say it again. And again.

Much of the conflict, wasted effort, and disengagement in teams can be traced back to ambiguity. Leaders are often clear in their own thinking. However, that clarity only makes it to their teams when it is shared in a clear and concise way, and when it is shared over and over again. If clarity is lacking, it shows up in how priorities are communicated, how decisions are explained, and how consistently messages are reinforced. One of the most impactful things we work on with clients is the habit of clarity. It feels uncomfortable at first and many leaders feel like they are repeating themselves, but it’s worth it. The results speak for themselves.

Try this: Before your next important communication, ask yourself: What are the 1–2 things I want people to walk away with? Then check for understanding afterward.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Emphasize communication clarity as a core leadership capability. Support leaders with tools, feedback, and opportunities to practice and refine it.

5.  Your calendar tells the truth about your priorities.

Most leaders have full calendars. The difference is whether their time reflects what actually matters. The leaders who are most effective are deliberate about where they invest their attention and equally deliberate about what they choose not to engage in. How you spend your time is not just a scheduling decision. It is a leadership signal. Your team is watching what you protect, what you prioritize, and what you let consume your calendar.

Try this: Review your last two weeks of meetings. Highlight anything that doesn't align with your top priorities and decide what to adjust going forward.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Encourage leaders to align their time with strategic priorities. This may include reinforcing focus areas, reducing unnecessary meetings, or modeling this behavior at senior levels.

6.  You are always setting culture — whether you mean to or not.

Culture is not built in offsites and value statements. It is shaped in everyday moments — what gets recognized, what gets questioned, what gets allowed to continue. These signals are often subtle, but over time they become the lived experience of the team. I have watched leaders invest heavily in culture initiatives while quietly undermining them with their daily behavior. The leaders who build great cultures understand that every interaction is a deposit or a withdrawal, and they make those decisions thoughtfully and intentionally.

Try this: Pay attention to what you reinforce this week. Notice what you praise, what you let go, and what you address — and what that might be signaling to your team.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Help leaders connect their day-to-day behaviors to culture. Reinforce that culture is shaped through consistent actions — not just stated values.

7.  The conversations you avoid are often the ones that matter most.

I am struck by how many leadership problems trace back to a single conversation that did not happen or did not happen soon enough or well enough. When expectations aren't addressed or feedback is delayed, teams fill in the gaps. Usually not in the direction the leader hoped. Difficult conversations do not get easier with time; they get more complicated. Leaders who engage early and directly create more clarity and alignment, even when the conversation itself is uncomfortable.

Try this: Think of one conversation you have been putting off. Take a few minutes to clarify your intent and key message — then schedule time to address it.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Normalize and support direct, constructive conversations. Provide leaders with tools and coaching to build confidence and skill in this area.

8.  How you handle adversity defines your leadership brand.

Research tell us that executive presence is most visible and most evaluated during times of pressure, ambiguity, or tension. In those moments, how a leader communicates and carries themselves has a disproportionate impact on how their team responds. Do you stay calm or amplify the anxiety in the room? Do you take accountability or deflect the conversation? Resilience under pressure is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about being honest about the situation while remaining steady, clear, and future-focused.

Try this: In your next high-pressure moment, pause before responding. Focus on slowing your pace, being clear in your message, and staying grounded in your tone.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Incorporate real-world scenarios into development efforts. Leaders build presence by practicing in situations that reflect the pressure and complexity of their roles.

9.  Sustained high performance is intentionally designed.

Some leaders treat their own wellbeing as optional — something they will get to once the quarter is over. There is always a reason to deprioritize it. But a depleted leader is a less effective leader. Leaders who perform at a high level over time are rarely relying on effort alone. They have made deliberate choices about how they structure their time, manage their energy, and create space for focus and recovery. Taking care of yourself is not self-indulgent. It is required to thrive and perform at a high-level long term. 

Try this: Identify one recurring time block this week that you can protect for focused work or recovery — and treat it as non-negotiable.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Reinforce sustainable performance as a leadership expectation. Encourage practices that support focus, energy management, and long-term effectiveness.

10.  Growth requires letting go.

The executives who have grown the most over the past decade are not the ones who started the most polished. They are the ones who stayed the most curious and have been willing to evolve. One of the more challenging aspects of leadership development is moving beyond behaviors that have been effective in the past. The leaders who continue to grow tend to be the ones who are always looking to make adjustments, often before they are forced to. Leadership mastery is not a destination we will reach. It is a practice we commit to.

Try this: Ask yourself: What is one behavior that has served me well but may be limiting me in my current role and context? Consider what it would look like to approach that differently.

For HR & Talent Leaders: Support leaders through transitions by helping them identify what new capabilities they need to be build and what capabilities they need to evolve and adjust. Growth often requires both.

A final thought.

I believe more than ever in the power of executive coaching. Not because leadership development is a trendy investment — but because leadership matters. Leaders shape the experience of everyone who works for them. They set the tone for entire organizations and when they grow, the ripple effect is extraordinary.

This belief is what has shaped how we approach coaching. We focus on helping leaders translate insights into meaningful shifts, apply them in real moments that matter, and build the consistency needed for those changes to last.

If any of these lessons resonated with you — or if you recognized yourself in one of them — I would love to continue the conversation. That is exactly what we are here for.

For leaders: Ready to invest in your own leadership growth? Schedule a complimentary discovery call and let's explore what's possible. Contact us or reach out at letsgo@enelratalent.com.

For HR & Talent leaders: Looking to build a stronger coaching culture in your organization? Let's talk about how we can support your leaders at scale. Contact us or reach out at letsgo@enelratalent.com.

About the Author

Arlene Pace Green, Ph.D. is the CEO and Founder of Enelra Talent Solutions, LLC, an executive coaching firm celebrating its 10th anniversary. Over the past decade, Enelra has coached hundreds of leaders across industries, helping them grow with intention, lead with clarity, and build careers and organizations they are proud of. Arlene is also the host of the Work Well, Live Well podcast.